


Only Human

by belletylers



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Family of Blood, Human Nature, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2001813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belletylers/pseuds/belletylers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Rose is the Doctor's companion when he must become John Smith to hide from the Family of Blood. The Doctor is back, but the past three months have been hard on Rose. She just wants everything to go back to normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Human

Drizzling rain falls on Rose’s cheeks and she shivers. The TARDIS offers no shelter from the rain – at least not while she stands outside it. But she can’t go in, there’s no way. Not when there’s a good chance that the Doctor might come back with _her._ The suspense is making her insides twist up in knots. She needs as much time as possible to prepare herself for what may come if the Doctor doesn’t emerge from her little cottage alone.

It’s not like he explicitly said anything, but his intentions had been clear as day. In a weirdly twisted way, she is proud of him. Proud of him for not running away. Or, running away and bringing the victim of his recklessness with him. But the pride is masked by an awful lot of bitterness, at least _some_ jealousy, and possibly a few tears, hidden by the rain.

She hates it here, and she’s hated it since the very day they arrived. She hates the cold cement workers quarters, still decades away from central heating. She hates the snivelling teenage boys, most of whom think themselves important enough to talk to her any way they like. But most of all, she’s hated not having the Doctor with her. It’s not the same with John Smith. Having to answer him whenever he calls, waiting on him. He spoke to her like a stranger, like she was beneath him. And she’d had to take it on the chin because, hey, she was just the maid, right? She’d be lying if she said it hadn’t hurt her, being treated like that.

She just _misses_ him. She misses her Doctor, her best friend, her absolute favourite person in the whole wide universe. She misses seeing him smile and his shabby-looking pinstriped suit and his trainers that are falling apart from all the running. She misses his stupid catchphrase. Honestly, she saw him every day, but she’s never felt so far from him. In fact, it’s the longest they’ve spent apart since they met.

The door of Joan’s cottage opens, and her heart rises into her throat. But he’s alone, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat as it trails along the ground behind him. His face is turned downward, but whether from sadness or to shield himself from the rain, she cannot tell.

Guilt immediately follows the relief that washes over her at the sight of him – the space at his side empty. Free for her to occupy, just like she always has. But, God, she hates to see him so sad. There’s something bizarrely ironic about it all. That being human, to him, had been a downgrade, a disguise, and yet it gave him the ability to fall in love. (And with a positively ghastly woman, no less). Even so, TARDIS and all, a Time Lord apparently isn’t enough for her. It makes Rose think about how it has come to be that they’re together and she is so very ordinary, and how John had been so ordinary himself, and he and Joan had wanted each other.

Rose is strong, but nothing could have given her the strength to go on with this much longer. And while it kills her that his face, even from a distance, is so downcast, she cannot wait to forget about this place.

Their eyes lock, and stay locked until he is within arm’s reach of her.

“You alright?” she asks, feeling daft and knowing the answer. He just opens the door of the TARDIS and gestures for her to go in.

“All of time and space,” he murmurs once inside. “People don’t usually turn that down.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Rose can tell he doesn’t mean for her. She bites her lip, frustrated. She wants him to talk, so she can help him, but he’s being abnormally silent.

“You know, Doctor,” she says, circling the console until she is beside him. He’s busily fiddling with the controls but she places her hand over his to still his movements. He complies, staring down at their interwoven fingers. “I know that I’m not her, but all of time and space sounds awfully good to me.”

His eyes squeeze shut and his jaw clenches, mouth twisted into a pained grimace. “Rose, don’t,” he whispers, and immediately his eyes snap open. He looks at her, realising what he has said.

Her face hardens and she snatches her hand away. “Don’t?” she asks, keeping her voice low and trying to steady it. Her lip quivers even though he can see she’s trying to force it not to. “Gee, why didn’t you just say so? ‘Don’t’ might’ve come in handy a few months back. Y’know, before I spent three months of my life being your maid and treated like dirt by a bunch of snotty teenagers.”

“Rose…”

“No, really. I want to know why you think I can just switch off my feelings when not even Mr Superior Time Lord can do that. I’m sorry, Doctor, I really am, that I’m not good enough for you.”

She wishes she could shut up. She can see the way her words dig into him like knives, but all this has been cooped up inside of her for _months_ and she can’t stop the words from spilling out of her.

“Rose, this isn’t about you,” he snaps.

It’s meant to be comforting. It’s meant to assure her, but it doesn’t sound at all like that as it leaves his mouth.

“You’re right. It’s _not_ about me – it’s about you. It’s about you and how you’re blind as a bloody bat. You’re so busy thinking about what you don’t have that you can’t see what’s been right in front of you this whole time.”

Her voice cracks just a little on the last words and his face softens. He reaches out and touches her arm, and before she can ease the wounds of her words, before she can calm her racing heart, his lips are on hers and all other thoughts are silenced.

He’s gentle with her. His lips are soft, and the skin of his hands rough as he strokes her cheeks. Her stomach twists into knots and she reaches out for him, placing her hands on his chest. Her eyes flutter shut in the midst of the breathless delight that is _him._ She tries desperately to memorise the feeling of his lips on hers, because no doubt when her senses come to her, inevitably, she will want to remember this.

“Wait,” she says, half moaning as he slides his tongue into her mouth. “S’not right. You’re all…battered. You’re not…I’m not…her. I’m not…”

He silences her with another kiss; brief this time, and barely a brush. But he rests his forehead against hers, holding her close.

“I’m so sorry, Rose,” he whispers, almost trembling. “I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

“I know.”

“And the TARDIS is your home. For as long as you want it. And…” he opens his eyes and moves away just enough to look at her and brush her cheek with his fingers. “You _are_ enough. You are _so_ enough, Rose Tyler.”

His last kiss is to her forehead.

“You should rest. I’ll park us somewhere for a few hours. You must be exhausted.”

“What, and you’re not?” she asks.

“Fighting aliens, manipulating my own DNA, getting rejected by a woman – all in a day’s work,” he jokes, and grins, looking a little more like his normal self. She looks sympathetic again for a moment, but he smiles at her, and her worry fades.

“Alright,” she says, biting her lip and smiling back at him. “I’ll see you later.” She turns and walks towards her room.

“Rose?” he calls, just before she goes out of sight. “Thanks for looking after me.”


End file.
